…and they are probably accurate.
You’ll be surprised, if you’re one of the dozen people who loves the book, to hear that some folks found it:
- Too tough on adoptive parents, who set out to do something good. The point is that I set out to do good, and ended up in a swamp full of ambiguities. What we do is not only our intent, but also the results of our actions. I hope that raising my daughter will be the best thing I ever did. I also hope that my participation in a system of adoption that turned out to be fraught with ethical issues is the most questionable.
- Full of jokes about serious topics. Guilty as charged. The book documents what I thought and did during a difficult time of my life. Some of the hard stuff is only palatable when it’s also funny. I worked to avoid ‘punching down’ at the people who had fewer choices than I did; I would never want to make fun of the losses in adoption that adoptees and first families experience. Adoptive parents and adoption agencies, it’s all in fun. Except that it’s funny because it’s true.
- Harsh and judgmental. Yep. I did some stupid, self-centered and thoughtless things in the process of bringing my child into our family, and the book reveals what I was thinking at the time. Some of which sounds pretty bad. A lot of this material reflects badly on me. If you’re a parent through adoption and feel bad about something you did after reading it, I’m sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Finally, if you were offended by the foul language, please note that this is the ‘after’ picture. My editor has to bear the psychic burdens from cleaning up the cursing to the point that it’s appropriate for all ages over 13. As far as the bad words, anyhow.